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My Struggle

A few years ago I was diagnosed with Lupus, fibromyalgia, and a few other lesser conditions. At first, I really didn't think much of it. After all, I had never known anything about the disease before. So, this begins my time of research.

When I Realized I Needed to Rally!

At first it was just some random pain....nothing too big. Well, nothing that a good pain killer couldn't fix. Then it quickly snowballed into much more. It has gotten to the point where some days, it is hard just to wake up and get out of bed. Like I start my days with only a half of a spoon! Then some days I would be okay. A good day means that I will be able to at least pour a bowl of cereal for the kids and get them ready for the day. Then we just play the rest of the day by ear. It always depends on how much my fatigue sets in that day. A bad day means that I sleep most of the day just to try to not feel any of the pain. I cry and then try to stop crying because it just makes the pain feel that much worse...... That is when I began to wonder.... wonder why me.....what am I supposed to do now.....what is going to happen to me...to my husband..to my children? I need to find some sort of control in this situation. Now is when I am like a mad-man.... I need to know everything about this disease...and to this day, I spend at least one hour everyday devoted to researching this disease and spreading awareness anywhere I can.

What Worked For Me

For me, I would have to say that I just needed to find a way to surrender everything to God. I have always had faith but now having faith meant something different. I had to realize that everyone has a purpose and just maybe mine is to live with this disease and show people that in the times of utter dispair, you can and will get through it as long as you cling to God. I am not saying that I just stick to prayer..... Although I spend much time in prayer, I also see my doctors, take my medication and do all I can to keep myself rested and stress free. Okay... now I know that you are all laughing. NO I am not crazy! I have three children and that alone can cause enough stress on a daily basis to give someone a heartattack. But I am daily learning ways to reduce stress and leave all of my worries at the foot of the cross.

The Progress I've made

I am not sure that progress is the right word. There is no telling what Lupus is going to do to your body.... I think that the progress you make is how you deal with the day to day things. For me my good days have now gone from just making breakfast to spending the day laughing and playing with my beautiful children. My son starts Sunday school soon and I plan to be there everyday with him!